Top Reality TV Moments of the 2000s
1. Tyra Banks’ “We Were Rooting for You!” Speech
Obviously, our love of ANTM is what birthed this glorious website, so Tyra’s infamous speech to Tiffany had to be my number 1 pick. I’ve seen people quote it. I’ve seen people use it as an audition monologue. It will be in the pop culture lexicon for all eternity. And I will continue having fever dreams about it until the day i die.
2. Scary Island
This three-episode arc has EVERYTHING (read that in Bill Hader’s Stefan voice). A cringey photo shoot on the beach? Check. Dancing at “da clurb”? Check. A woman eating gummy candy in the middle of a full psychotic break? CHECK. It’s still debated what caused Kelly Bensimon’s erratic behavior. Many theories have been toted around, but the fact remains that whatever she did or didn’t take, led to some of the best reality television to ever grace our screens. IT’S TURTLE TIME!
3. Naked Wasted
This is one of the darker TV moments on this list. What started as a plan to get a “frenemy” black out drunk, turned into an attempt at sexual assault by mother and son. Because of this, Tamra Judge will forever be an untrustworthy rat fink (no matter how much she claims to love Jesus).
4. When Kristen Banged Jax
Vanderpump Rules in its prime was the personification of a chef’s kiss. This slap was spawned by Kristen sleeping with Stassi’s ex-boyfriend, Jax, while watching the movie, Drive, and then lying about it for an entire season. This may be number 4 on the list, but the level of sociopathy is 100!
5. The Sammi Sweetheart Note
SO many Jersey Shore moments to choose from (i.e. “Stop making fun of my big toe, Ronnie!”), but this note clinched it. It came from such a place of sincerity for Snooki while JWoww was just trying to stir shit up. The decision to hide the note in her dresser and keep it “anonymous” was one in many of a series of unfortunate events. Another one being, “grinding with multiple fat women”.
6. Alexis Neiers’ Phone Call
I firmly believe if Sofia Coppola had included this ICONIC voicemail in The Bling Ring, the box office results would’ve been astronomical. This phone call contains frameworks of humor dating all the way back to 16th century Commedia dell-arte. Gabrielle and Tess frantically pantomiming their feelings are exaggerated Harlequinades and Andrea constantly interrupting, forcing Alexis to re-record a hundred times, is the perfect lazzi! Roses are red, the sky is falling. Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling.
7. Kurn Huger
The Real Housewives of Potomac contains so much messiness. From sexual assault cases to bankruptcy, there’s a lot of standout moments to choose from. However, I decided to choose a lighter one, and none made me cackle quite like the shot of Ashley Darby in Karen’s wig. The fact that all of the women, INCLUDING KAREN, were equally delighted (and wasted), make this feel-good, hysterical impression all the more entertaining. What tops it off is Karen’s delusional and unintentionally funny take away: “This girl’s obsessed with me.”
8. Shangela Being What? Sickening.
Don’t ever accuse someone of having a sugar daddy. Case in point: Shangela. I’m just gonna include the entire quote: "I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could probably go out and get one because I am what? Sickening! You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby everything I've had, I've worked for and I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up, you fucking BITCH!" Take that, Mimi.
9. It’s About Tom
If you’re surprised this list has 2 different RHONY moments, then clearly you have some binge watching to do. The NYC franchise has blessed us with dozens of memorable scenes/quotes, but Luann turning a blind eye to her fiancé openly cheating on her in a hotel lobby and Bethenny being forced to tell her on vacation (after chugging a bottle of Skinnygirl Vodka) takes the cake.
10. Dinner Party From Hell
There’s no shortage of emotionally fulfilling RHOBH moments. That’s why I opted for one of the original! This scene was a MadLib for mania. Plus, I’m a sucker for a medium with an e-cigarette. If nothing else, we have to thank Camille for birthing the nickname “The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick”. KNOW THAT.
11. Jade Cole
I bow down to the Reality TV Gods for gracing us with Jade Cole. Thank you for allowing her to pass the psych eval, thank you for her CoverGirl commercial and thank you for giving us a name for the America’s Next Top Best Friend Podcast.
12. The Table Flip
I considered just putting the name “Danielle Staub” as number 12, but no Real Housewives moment proves as recognizable as the RHONJ Table Flip. It was referenced on South Park for God’s sake. I’ve watched this scene so many times, I can quote by heart. Don’t give Danielle diarrhea, give it a re-watch! and remember to PAY ATTENTION, PUH-LEASE.
13. Abby Lee Miller’s Police Report
Let’s be real… Abby has always been extra. I mean, her claim to fame is making children cry on a weekly basis. But no moment proved as over-the-top as her dodging production in a motorized scooter. A quick recap: At an NYC based dance competition, Abby was scrolling through her phone during a performance when a mom in the audience took this time to scold Abby on her bad theater etiquette. This causes Abby to flee the theater (lying about her intended whereabouts) and heading straight to the police station to charge this woman for “verbal assault”. The audience doesn’t see this of course. We watch production frantically flit about multiple intersections, searching for Abby on her motorized scooter. The breaking of the fourth wall was the cherry on top of a VERY chaotic sundae.
14. New York vs. Pumkin
Tiffany Pollard is a reality tv queen. Her getting a loogie to the face was gonna make this list regardless of how many Real Housewives moments I wish I could include. BYE, PUMKIN!
15. Naomi Campbell Dragging Coco Rocha
This is just great life advice. Before you try to start shit with a frenemy, be sure to check your lipstick.